44

Jojo held a blues party on Thursday night. I got tired of sitting and watching everyone else dancing, so I gave it a shot. Blues dancing is all about leading the follow with downward body motions. My leading was nowhere near where I used to be, and I couldn't sink too low for fear of falling, but I got through it. That's the first time I've danced since April.

In the gym, I started using the treadmill and stairclimber about 2 weeks ago. I'm only able to walk on the treadmill, but I crank up the incline to really work my quads. I can only go for about two minutes on the stairclimber, mainly because I'm taking a lot of weight in my arms. That's still a huge improvement, because I tried the stairclimber back in September and couldn't even go one step without feeling like I was going to fall backward.

Getting sick

I'm getting sick with some sort of virus or flu. I can feel it starting it in my throat. I'm popping lots vitamin C pills, hopefully that will help. With all these medications I'm on, I don't know what else is safe to take.

43

I can now stand up off my bed without using my arms to push myself up; only my legs. I can't do it consistently yet, but neither could I stand up consistently when I was first able to, using my arms, back in September.

I've been thinking. It took me about 5 months from the first symptom until I was treated. It has also been about 5 months of improvement since then, and I would say right now I'm physically at the point I was about 2 months before I started getting better.

I'm making an assumption of a linear rate of improvement and that I don't plateau, but at this rate it is taking about 2.5 months to recover for every month I got weaker, which leaves at least another 7 months to get back to 100%, around June 2007, which is one year from when I was admitted into the hospital.

Another one year milestone

Today marks one year since I moved into my apartment.

One Year

Last week marked one year since I started with my current company. Wow. The company has improved greatly since we were acquired earlier this year, and they're even flying the entire Vancouver and Whistler offices down to our California head office in January for a Christmas party (people have too many commitments in December to spend the weekend out of town).

There will be an auction at the party for things like LCD TVs, iPods, gift cards, trips, etc. We bid with auction bucks that we earn from October to December for good performance and winning various team building contests. Yesterday was a pumpkin carving contest. Unfortunately, I had to go for physio so I couldn't participate, but I've attached a video that one of my coworkers produced. Blogger won't let me embed a video in my post, so here is a direct link (there are a lot of Jackass fans in the office).

A new Rispin enters the family

Congratulations to Geoff and Cindi for their wedding yesterday. It was very well planned and turned out very well. The weather also could not have been better.

There was a moment during the wedding when Geoff was up at the front and the music starting playing for Cindi to enter, but there was a delay before she came in the room. We could see a nervous look on Geoff's face as he waited for her to enter the room and walk down the aisle.

These are some photos from yesterday. I will post more in my photo gallery when I get the chance to fix them up. The two children dancing are Cindi's nieces.

Gated communities

The fitness centre in my apartment is open until 11pm each night. It is located on the fourth floor, and requires going through an access-controlled elevator and a few access-controlled doors to get to the gym and then back to my apartment. Normally, elevator access to the floor and all door access on the floor are cut off at 11pm, but for some reason some time last week, access is now disabled 15 minutes earlier. That means the only way back to my tower is a trip down the elevator in the south tower to its lobby and going down the street outside to get back to my north tower if I miss the cutoff.

It reminds me of a conversation I had earlier this year before I went into the hospital. I was at a comedy club discussing politics with someone who was sitting at the table next to me. He was very articulate and had some interesting ideas. For some reason, we started talking about safety and my apartment complex. I was telling him about everything being access card controlled and that we had a 24 hour security guard/concierge. He referred to my building as being a vertical gated community. I had never thought of it that way before that.

42

I've been exercising nearly every day now, either in my gym at home or at GF Strong in the physio gym or the pool. The progress is slow, but I am seeing improvements. I can almost leg press my body weight. I'm hoping I can hit that threshold by the end of the month. One of the challenges I wasn't yet able to do in my last blog entry was stand up off my couch. It sinks down when one sits in it, and I had to do a pivot transfer onto the wheelchair and stand up from there. It takes some effort, but I can now stand up from the couch.

I can actually feel the muscles in my arms. That feels very good, considering I could wrap my hand around my skinny upper arm back when I was in the hospital four months ago. Friends have been commenting on how scary skinny I was back then. My endurance is better too. I've been doing hyperbaric oxygen treatments each week at Yaletown Holistics, and the two-block trip back home is a slight incline. A month ago, I had to stop halfway to rest before continuing, and now I can push myself for the entire trip without having to stop.

My resting heart rate is down to the mid-eighties. That is still high for someone my age, but it is a huge improvement from the 110+ when I was lying in bed in the hospital. Hopefully that will continue to improve as I get healthier. The risk is that at some point I may plateau and not improve from there. I'm hearing differing opinions. My rehab doctor thinks I'll peak at 70-80% of normal, but he has also never seen a case like mine before. The last EMG test showed a slight improvement in my nerves.

My goal is to get better than I was before. Right now, I'm in the pool twice a week, in the physio gym twice a week, and in my gym at home four times a week. That's about eight hours of exercise each week. I'm up to 25 minutes on the exercise bike at home, and I can pedal faster than when I first started using it at home three weeks ago.

My physiotherapist is impressed that I'm doing a lot of exercising at home. I just view it as something I need to do, but a lot of people just accept being in a wheelchair, even when they have the potential to get better. The downside is that I'm neglecting a lot of friends, since my weeknights are spent at home in the gym, instead of out and about.

Work is awesome about letting me take the time I need to get better. The VP of our group understands my situation. She suffered an injury skiing when she was younger, and had to spend a year doing rehab to walk again. I'm working from home one to two days a week, and my aggregate hours add up to about 3.5 to four actual days of work.

I'm driving now too. I'm in better shape now than when I stopped driving back in May. It feels good having the freedom to get into my car and go out whenever I want to, instead of relying on public transit or asking for friends to go out of their way.

I'll never know what caused all this to happen, but I wonder if stress played a role. An MD would probably discount this theory and say that there is a scientific reason, but a naturopath takes a different approach to these things and would consider it. There were a number of factors contributing to a lot of stress for me late last year, within a few months of the first symptom. Regardless, I'm staying much more laid back now.

41

Yesterday was the first day I was able to use the exercise bikes in my gym since everything started. I was able to go for 15 minutes. The bikes are pedal-powered and require a certain minimum resistance to keep them going, and I just haven't had the strength in my quads to meet that resistance until now.

I'm spending two days a week now doing physio at GFS in both the pool and gym, and the rest is up to me to do on my own. The first week back to work was pretty overwhelming, but now that I've made tentative arrangements so that I can work less than full hours, it should be easier to work and do my physio too.

Last Thursday, my rehab physiotherapist gave me two canes with wrist braces to use at home: not because I'm ready for them, but because she got worried when I told her that I've been walking around my apartment.

My car is still in storage. It took half an hour last week to pull the wheelchair apart and put it into the car piece by piece while sitting in a chair. Since there is no practical way for me to get the wheelchair in and out of the car on my own, I will have to wait until I have a walker that I can easily get in and out of the car before insuring it for road use. I also noticed a squeaking sound from one of the belts under the hood. I want to get that checked out too before I start driving around.

I forgot to call HandyDART today to book my trip to GFS on Thursday. Hopefully I can sneak onto the schedule if I call first thing in the morning.

40

Today was my first day back at work. I spent the day at work setting up a new laptop (so that I can work from home on the days I have physiotherapy), and at GF Strong for my first day of outpatient physio. For now, my schedule will be physio on Tuesdays and Thursdays, consuming about half of the workday, and work for the rest of the week. I have 15 days to reopen the case if it turns out I can't handle work and physio at the same time.

It was also my first time riding HandyDART. The service is pre-booked with 30 minute pickup windows, so it means I must lead a very structured life for the next few months and always carry something to read while I wait.

It feels different being back home. GF Strong makes life so easy. They cook for me, clean for me, make my bed... Now I'm stuck doing all that on my own. It's been three months since I've lived at home and it feels a bit like I'm moving out on my own again.

39

I am now medically cleared to drive, and my discharge date seems to be finalized for Fri Sep 1.

38

I went swimming last night for the first time in a long time. I wasn't sure if I'd still be able to swim in my condition. The pool is modified for people to get in and out on a ramp, with wheelchairs that can go underwater. The deepest it gets is below my shoulders, perhaps a little under five feet. The weightlessness of the water meant I was also able to walk through it. It's been a long time since I've been able to walk normally, and it felt great to be able to walk around without holding on to anything for support. I'm going swimming in my pool at home when I'm out of GFS on the weekends. I've never used it before and I don't remember if there are stairs or a ladder to get in, but as long as someone who can swim and can get me out of the pool is there with me, there shouldn't be any problems.

My stay at GFS has been extended to the first week of September. This is good, because it means I get much more physiotherapy time than as an outpatient, but it also delays my return to work and a normal paycheque.

I've been pressing my doctor for a prognosis on how long it will take to recover and how well I'll recover, but he won't commit to anything. The best I got from him today is that the nerve regrowth will take up to two years for some longer nerves that extend down my legs, and at that point, whatever condition I'm in is probably where I'll be at for the rest of my life.

37

Krista came by to visit on Friday afternoon. I love conversing with her, she is a very open person to talk to and I feel comfortable discussing almost anything. She did make me realize how hard it is for some people to come to the hospital to visit a friend or family member, especially without the social support of another friend coming along. I know some other friends who have been avoiding seeing me in the hospital for mostly the same reason: they feel too uncomfortable being in hospitals. Krista wrote about her visit in her blog. Thanks Krista for the kind words.

I brought my camera to GFS. I'm going to take some pictures of what rehab is like and post them in my photo gallery. Then, those who don't feel comfortable coming here can see what they're missing out on.

Some time this week, I'll be meeting with my doctors and reviewing the plan moving forward. As it stands, I'm being discharged back home in two weeks. I will still continue rehab as an outpatient, possibly twice a week. It means I will go back to living alone, which makes me a bit nervous. There will be no call button to call a nurse if something happens to me. The other problem will be on the social side. I'll be working from home all day with no human contact other than over the phone, then stuck in my apartment at night, again, with no human contact. The doctors are telling me not to drive, and if I give them the impression that I will, there are steps they can take to have my driver's licence revoked. I'd rather not go through the hassle of getting it back. I'm not getting my freedom back any time soon.

36

It occurred to me how fortunate I am that none of this illness has affected my cognitive skills. I had to practice standing for extended periods of time during OT today and was given some cognitive games to stay occupied while I stood in front of the table. My occupational therapist was impressed with how easily I completed them.

Later, during lunch, I observed some of the people in the brain injury program in the dining room. Some of them had trouble speaking; some had trouble with motor skills; and some had lost intelligence. Given the two evils, I'd much rather have the physical problem.

Now, if I could only pinch those clothespegs enough to get them onto the bars.

35

My doctor told me today that generally the longer a recovery takes, the less chance there is of a full recovery. I've been at GF Strong now for nearly three weeks, and there is definite improvement since the PLEX treatment. My endurance has gone up, and I am more mobile than at my worst, but I haven't gone through any significant increases in strength. That's disheartening, because my tentative discharge date is just over two weeks away. The date could get pushed back, but only if I'm not in a condition to live independently at home. I will continue to be an outpatient, going back for physiotherapy twice a week.

My occupational therapist did a home visit with me today to see my apartment and what needs to change in order for me to be independent in my home. She suggested raising some surfaces, like my couch and bed. There are also special grab bars that can be installed on my bed to help me stand up. The big problem will be in the kitchen. I won't be able to carry heavy pots (or even light pots) from the oven to the opposite counter. Shopping will also be an issue, but there is a Choices a block away. It will mean many small purchases throughout the week that I can carry back.

It looks like I may also need to investigate the possibility of buying a wheelchair. I was hoping to just rent one for travelling long distances until I am well enough, but I may be stuck with one for longer than I'd like. I am supposed to meet with some dealers next week to get more information and find out costs, although I already know what a decent wheelchair costs.

As for work, they already have a laptop lined up for me so that I can work from home. I can't work from home indefinitely (and there will be times I'll need to be there for things like meetings), so I've looked into transportation options. The paperwork has already been submitted so that I can use the HandyDART service, but they are very rigid and only operate until 7pm. There is also one bus route that might work to get me to work in the morning, but it lets me off a block away, and I need to do some recon to see if I can physically travel that block on my own. Getting to the bus stop to go home will be more difficult, as it requires going down a steep hill, where I will lose control of the wheelchair. I live only eight blocks from work.

I've lost my freedom. I can no longer just jump in my car on a whim and go somewhere. Even though I can go home from GF Strong on the weekends, I'm stuck at home on Saturday nights because I have no way to get where I want to go - and typically can't participate because it requires full mobility.

34

My doctor came to talk to me this morning. We discussed my condition, and he said with my atypical symptoms (to any known condition) and because my motor neurons are affected, that it could be many years before I get back to normal, if I do. That's different from the "about one year" I've been hearing before. Perhaps they were expecting better results on the nerve conduction test last week. It also reminds me that my neurologist used the word "chronic" in the place of "acute" for the first time when we were discussing the test results last week. I had selectively forgotten about that. I'm good at pushing things I don't want to think about out of my mind.

I went over to VGH this morning for a follow up IVIG treatment. I'm supposed to get these every four weeks as a preventive measure. I don't really understand the need for it, but then the doctors don't really understand why IVIG works either.

33

Tonight, I was able to stand up from sitting on my bed at home. I haven't been able to do that for months.

32

I turned on the TV in my room this week. I very rarely watch TV and it's amazing how little there is to watch, even with nearly 60 channels to choose from. I didn't even recognize most of the shows. TV just sucks you in and consumes so much time that could be better spent on other things.

The nice thing about GFS is that they have devices to measure my strength, instead of using more subjective tests. The OT assessed my grip strength when I was transferred here, and then again this week, with signs of improvement. The reading was at 30 lbs for my right hand, about 25% of what someone my age should be at, but it still shows improvement in a period of just over one week.

I saw my neurologist again on Tuesday, and we repeated the nerve conduction test. The last test was in mid-July, and this test showed roughly the same results as the previous one, which means that there is no further degradation in my nerves. All the previous tests always showed poorer results than the one before. I'll have another nerve conduction test in about a month to see if there is improvement.

I started practicing walking in the physio gym without locking my knees. I've been out of commission for so long now that I have to retrain my muscles to walk, so that I don't limp or lean side to side from locking my knees.

Things seem to be improving, but it is very tiring. I'm going home for the weekend.

31

Today was a busy day. I did a one hour and two half hour PT sessions, as well as an hour of OT. I've added some directions on how to find me to the side bar. Visitors are welcome during the day, but I very likely won't be in my room. The staff have no problem with visitors in the rehab areas, so just meander down if you can't find me. The target I've been told is 3-4 weeks as an inpatient, then moving back home and continuing as an outpatient. However, that estimate can change, depending on my progress. I may be back home in time for my birthday.

I was chatting with the occupational therapist today while doing exercises and she mentioned that most of their GBS patients come from the valley, like Langley and Abbotsford. That's an interesting anecdote, since I worked out in Langley for 2.5 years.

30

I saw the doctor today, and it looks like I will be here for 3-4 weeks. It will take a few months to be able to walk without an aid, but I should be at the point of being able to walk short distances (like within my apartment) when they discharge me. A full recovery will still take a long time. The prognosis is good.

29

I'm now at GF Strong in the neuromusculoskeletal wing, room 440. Their priority is to take patients from VGH, which delayed my transfer from St. Paul's. The facility is nice and the atmosphere is a lot better than the hospital. One of GF Strong's criteria is to take patients who actually have the motivation to get better, so that they are not wasting their time on people who won't try. There are also no street people here. I don't have a phone next to my bed, so calls will have to go to my cell phone. They will have to be kept short before 7pm as I only have a limited number of daytime minutes.

The food here is far superior to St. Paul's. Lunch and dinner are served in the cafeteria, and you can just keep going up and getting more food. It's like two buffets everyday. Tonight, I had three slices of meatloaf, a side salad, rice, cooked vegetables, jello, and pudding. I also got a night-time snack delivered that I haven't eaten yet. It's some sort of meat sandwich. There is a fridge stocked with juices, puddings, cheese, and bread for the taking. At St. Paul's, once dinner was cleared away, there was no food on the ward until breakfast at 8:30 the next morning. I certainly won't starve here.

We have a computer lab in the building for patient use. I can check my e-mail without having to go home. Unfortunately, there is no wireless access from my room. Otherwise I would be setting up my VOIP line there.

Games night is on for tomorrow, probably around 6:30pm. Everyone is welcome.

28

The word is in, and I'm transferring to GF Strong Monday morning at 9:30.

I was also able to stand up from a chair on my own today, but it was about 2 feet high, above the average height of a chair. Still, it's progress. My goal is to be able to get up from a sitting position independently within a few weeks, using both my arms and legs.

Unfortunately, it's looking like I won't make the Seattle Exchange this year. I was looking forward to it. I'll still be sure to get a T-shirt.

27

The head nurse for my ward came in today and told me I'm number three in line for GF Strong. The two ahead of me are from VGH but may not be ready to go yet, which means I might jump past them. The soonest I'll transfer is Friday, but that is unlikely and it will probably be some time next week. Games night might just be at GF Strong next week.

I spoke with one of the neurologists yesterday and asked him how long he thinks it will take for me to get back to 100%. He said it could be a year. Next, I asked him how long it would take to walk without a walking aid. His estimate was three to four months. Nerves regrow at a rate of about 1mm per day.

When all of this is done, I want to go travelling. I'm thinking Thailand in February or March 2007 if I'm in a good enough condition by the new year. I want to ride an elephant while I'm there. I also want to sleep in a hut on a beach with the sound of the waves nearby. I'm sure Thailand also has a lot of temples and cultural things that would also be worth seeing. I need to do some research.

26

I won't be transferring to GF Strong until Thursday at the earliest. The intake nurse at GF Strong is off until Wednesday, and she is the one who can say if it will be days, weeks, or months before I can get in. I'm hoping for the prediction of DAYS.

25

Wow. Seven comments within a day of the last post. Thanks for all the kind words.

I'd like to think that recovery will take a few weeks, but the reality is that it will take much longer and I will probably still be doing physio even after I get released from GF Strong. Things are still on an upswing, which is definitely a good thing.

I've been thinking of painting my apartment, since it's been empty now for nearly six weeks and will be for the near future. Everything is white, and there are lots of corners, so I can have fun with different shades of colours on the different walls and have it painted while I'm gone. I've got a pile of colour samples, mostly earthtones ranging from yellows to browns along with a few greens and greys. I think the kitchen would look good with a brick red colour on the wall with the Bua print and a grey theme in the bathroom. I need to consult someone with actual interior design skills first before I buy any paint.

24

All of the TPS Reports have been completed and I'll be on my way to GF Strong as soon as a bed opens up there. The schedule at GF Strong will be an hour each of physio in the morning, afternoon, and late afternoon/evening. Any treatments I might require will be done at VGH, since it's closer. The dialysis centre is right across the hallway from Amy's lab, so I can drop in on her if any further plex treatments are necessary.

GF Strong is located at 4255 Laurel St, just off Oak St and W 26th Ave. The #17 Oak will take you there from downtown. The easiest way to catch it is to get off the Skytrain at Granville St and walk one block down to Pender St, where you can get on between Seymour St and Richards St.

It looks like they have stricter rules about leaving the facility than St. Paul's, where I've been able to come and go as I please, as long as someone is there to help me and I have no tests or treatments scheduled. Return times for evening outings must be before 9:30pm Sun-Thu and 11:15pm Fri/Sat, although it says that special cases may be made. That's all I need to know. :) There is no word if I can get Internet access there.

I've been doing some work with the physiotherapists almost every day. Yesterday and today, we went to the physio gym for about half an hour and did some exercises. I was able to use the exercise bike, and even though it was at its easiest setting, they were surprised that I was able to do it. My biggest strength gain has been in my arms being able to sit down. As long as there are bars on both sides of the seat, my arms are strong enough to hold my weight while I sit down. That's something I couldn't do a few weeks ago.

23

I finally posted the photos from Amy and Sarah's birthday. Now that I have day passes at the hospital, I can go home and have Internet access. It is very convenient that the hospital is three blocks from my home.

A doctor came by yesterday and was surprised that I was still there. He thought I had been transferred to GF Strong already. It sounds like I'm going there this week, but no one can tell me when.

22

I've been without Internet access since I moved rooms, but I'm back at home for a few hours tonight on a day pass to take care of some errands before I head back to the hospital. I'm in a semi-private room, and the ward has had a lot of empty beds for the last week, so I've been fortunate to have the room to myself for the week except for one night on Tuesday.

St. Paul's is the inner city hospital that serves the downtown eastside, and the street people use it as a clinic to get fixed up and to get their antibiotics when they go too far with their addictions. However, this week being welfare Wednesday and also really nice weather, they've all left the hospital to do whatever they do on the street. They really know how to use the social system and how long to stay in the hospital to maximize disability payouts (on top of EI payments). I have stories to tell and will write about them as I get time online.

Many of the street people who came into my room were suffering withdrawal from the drugs or alcohol they were on and were completely delusional. They would turn over on their beds, bending the IV line and causing the alarm on the IV pump to go off. The alarm is loud and they just slept right through it. At times it would go on for half an hour before a nurse came by and fixed the problem. It is so nice being in a room with no interruptions and that is completely dark.

I finished my last plex treatment today. The hemocatheter used to hook me up to the machine was also taken out. I will sleep much better tonight without it dangling from below my shoulder. I fell down two nights ago and thought I had sprained my left ankle. The physiotherapist looked at it the next morning and said it was just a stretched muscle. The pain is still there a bit when I move my ankle in a certain way, but is mostly gone. It was my third fall in the hospital (the first was the day I had the biopsy done on my thigh and the second was getting out of bed).

I'm feeling better and noticing some small improvements. A few weeks ago, I was having trouble raising my arm to wash my shoulder, and now I am able to do that. It's nothing big, but it is promising. Recovery is still not going to be easy and it will take a lot of time. Now we wait and see if I start showing some strength gain or if I go back to losing strength.

The doctors are talking about doing another biopsy. This time it will be both a nerve and muscle biopsy. They want to rule out vasculitis, which is supposed to share some of the symptoms that I have. I really don't want to go through another biopsy, and removing part of a nerve means I lose my sense of sensation wherever they take it from for the rest of my life.

21

A quick update, Dan has been moved from room 25 to 23. New phone extension is 67723.

20

The diagnosis is acute motor axonal neuropathy (AMAN). It's curable but will take a very long time. At least months. It is part of the Guillain Barre Syndrome family and is an autoimmune condition.

It is most common in China in children but has been known to happen in North America.

The autoimmune attack is on the motor neurons, so the treatment is a plasma exchange. Blood is circulated out of my body, the plasma is removed and replaced with albumin, then goes back into me. Doing that removes the antibodies that are attacking my nerves. Unfortunately, nerves don't just regrow immediately and so a recovery will take a very long time.

I'm hesitant to say this is good news until the treatment starts showing results.

19

I had a lumbar puncture done yesterday. They wanted to look at the protein level in my spinal fluid. I felt fine all day until about 10:00 at night when the anaesthetic finally wore off. Then the pain came. The doctor said this morning that the pain was from the anaesthetic wearing off and my skin or muscles returning back from a really contracted state to normal really fast. He came by early this morning and explained it to me, but I fell back asleep and can't really remember everything he said. A pair of T3s helped to kill the pain last night and I felt really relaxed all night. The other side effect is that the ache in my lower legs went away for the night too, so I wasn't tossing around as much.

My parents ended up staying until midnight. I would have preferred if they didn't see me in pain. They worry enough.

I'm getting tapered off the steroids. I'm down to 20mg x 2 per day from 30mg x 2. The doctors aren't seeing the results they're looking for. They are suggesting something called IVIG. I don't remember everything he said this morning, but it is supposed to be some immunosuppressant made from about 40 human donors. The idea is that at least one of them can contribute something that will help me. I'll have to do more research to learn more about the treatment, but it is a much lower risk than steroids as long as I don't have an allergic reaction to it. The problem with this treatment is that if it works, the doctors won't know the cause. They don't like that, but I really don't care. I'm sure they will write a research paper on me when all is done.

Thanks to everyone who is visiting. Friends are doing little things like grabbing the phone when I can't reach it or getting hot water. It doesn't seem like much but it really helps me a lot. It's the visitors who are showing up who are helping me stay positive and get through this. Keep visiting. And thanks for the miso soup mix Henry, that really helped last night.

18

Today was a better day. My team lead dropped by with a card from all my coworkers and a cool looking plant with green and red leaves. I'm looking forward to taking it home. Now I have two plants.

I had a bunch of visitors tonight. Geoff and Cindi showed up, then Adam, Mike, and Satoshi. My parents were also there, as they've been coming everyday. I think they've finally accepted what is happening. They are being more supportive and not trying to push any more. My mother says that Cindi is a nice girl.

Since it's already Thursday, it looks like I'll be in the hospital through next week. I don't feel any weaker since I was admitted, but I also don't feel any stronger. That could be a good thing. I've been on the steroid treatment now for a week. They are giving me 60mg per day orally. Normally, the human body produces about 6-7mg of steroids per day naturally.

At this point, the doctors are waiting to see if I respond to treatment. If it goes well, then I'll be on my way to GF Strong for rehab. I won't be back to 100% for months, if I can get back to 100%.

I'm also trying to type this with an IV in my right wrist, which is not easy.

17

There is a faint insecure wireless network that I can reach from my hospital bed. The signal is very weak and the connection drops a lot, but it means that I can get some sporadic Internet access from my bed.

The muscle biopsy happened first thing Thursday morning, and it is still very tender and painful if I or someone else touches the spot it was taken from. It will probably take a week or two before that goes away. The doctor used a local anaesthetic and I was awake for the procedure. He only froze the skin and a bit of muscle, because the sample is supposed to be better if it's not frozen when removed. I felt the scalpel when he cut away at my muscle and it was not pleasant. The result will be back some time next week. Rheumatology also got involved, and they ordered an MRI scan. It normally takes about six months to get one as an outpatient, and I got it in a day because I'm now an inpatient.

They are diagnosing me with polymyositis. Even though they don't have the pathology results back from the muscle biopsy, they are going ahead and treating me anyway because of how weak I'm getting. The treatment is a very high dose of steroids through an IV to kill the autoimmune disease that is causing my muscles to weaken. After a few days, they will reduce the dose and switch to an oral medication. If the treatment works, I am supposed to see improvement in a short period of time, something like 5 days. Nevertheless, it won't be an instant recovery and the summer of 2006 is going to be a write-off for me. At least future summers won't be if I get better.

I will be in the hospital for at least another week, maybe longer. The doctors need to see signs the treatment is working. After that, I get transferred under the care of a rehab specialist, and I might get transferred to GF Strong for rehabilitation exercises. It's too early to really predict what will happen that far in the future.

Next week will be very boring because all the tests have been done and it's a matter of waiting to see if the treatment works. As I mentioned before, visitors are very welcome and will help me pass the time.

Latest

Today Dan had an ultrasound, a pulmonary function test, a CT scan and more blood tests. The muscle biopsy is probably going to be Thursday or Friday. He figures he'll be in the hospital until at least the middle of next week.

16

I'm back at home for the weekend. They gave me a weekend pass, and I'm heading back tomorrow. It's Amy and Sarah's birthday party tonight; I can't miss that.

The muscle biopsy will happen early next week, perhaps on Tuesday. Monday will be very busy. I have a lumbar puncture and pulmonary function test scheduled, along with some other tests I can't remember. I'll probably be there for all of next week. Yesterday, five neurologists came to see me. I think that is most of the department there.

I was also given a walker by a physiotherapist. It makes walking a bit more stable, but I'm too young for one!

Visitors are welcome, but please call ahead. Sometimes they take me away for a few hours for testing and I don't want to make anyone wait for a long time.

More updates

Dan had another EMG and nerve conduction test today. Results definitely indicate a muscle issue, not nerve/spinal. They say there are no dead nerves, but they're bigger because they have to "talk louder" to the muscles. A muscle biopsy is planned, but no date yet.

Doctors are considering giving Dan steroids, but they can't really treat him for anything until they know what it is. He might go to a rhumatologist.

His iron levels are normal, toxic screens are normal, Creatine Kinase 355 (which is in line with what is happening with the muscles). Doctors expect that it is not viral nor auto-immune since his condition is not indicative of either. Tomorrow will be another full day of testing.

Dan might get out on a weekend pass, he'll know soon.

The Latest

Dan is at St. Paul's now (until at least early next week most likely). He has an EMG tomorrow or Friday and will find out about the muscle biopsy tomorrow as well.

He's in the Providence Wing, level 7B, room 25. Visiting hours end at 8pm.

More to come...

15

I'm going to St Paul's Hospital. I have no idea how long I will be there, but my GP thinks it won't be more than a few days.

They don't have Internet access there, so Jer might post a few updates on the blog if I end up in the hospital for a longer time. If you e-mail me, I probably won't respond for a while. Phone calls are welcome though.

14

I feel overwhelmed. So much happened last week that I just didn't have time to write about.

I'm working from home this week. I really have to say how supportive my company and my coworkers are. This is the first place I've worked where employees are not treated as resources. My productivity has gone down significantly, but they are letting me take time off to go see doctors and take care of myself. Now, they gave me a company laptop so that I can work from home and continue to get paid. If I go on disability, that puts me into a negative cash flow (assuming I'm eligible - there is no diagnosis). There is no way I would have had the same support from management at my previous company, and because of its remote location in Langley, getting out to see a doctor would have been a day off rather than a few hours off.

At my parents' insistence, I went to see a naturopath last week. Naturopaths don't really deal with hard facts, but after seeing him, he thinks that I have a virus. He can't identify what the virus is, but after doing his tests, believes my pancreas is a problem. He suggested an IV vitamin C, which will kill off viruses. He seems very confident that he can reverse the problem. My faith in naturopaths is very low, but when the genetic test result came back negative on Friday, that gave me a bit more faith in what they do.

I also now have someone helping me with my diet, who I met while at the naturopathy clinic last week. He put me on a smoothie diet, with a bunch of supplements to make sure I'm getting all the nutritional value I need. They taste quite good and are very sweet from the natural sugar in the fruits. I'll probably get sick of smoothies very soon though.

I did a Vitamin C treatment yesterday and also lied in a hyperbaric oxygen chamber. The chamber is supposed to help regenerate my nerves. It makes my fingers tingle. I will give the alternate medicine a week or two to see if it helps. My mother is so insistent that naturopathy is the way to go because "people die in hospitals."

The doctors at the hospital want to admit me as an inpatient. They are worried that I might fall and break something in my body. If I do and it puts me in a bed, then my muscles will atrophy faster since they would not be used at all. They can also do their tests more effectively, since they can order the test and get the result back right away, instead of making an appointment in a few weeks and waiting another week for the result as an outpatient.

13

The blood test result came back negative. It's not SMA.

That gives me a lot of hope. Today was the first time I left the hospital not depressed.

The next steps they want to take are a lumbar puncture and muscle biopsy.

Camping at Harrison Lake

I went camping for the May long weekend, from Friday night to Monday afternoon. I saw a rehab doctor on Friday morning, and when I mentioned that I had plans to go camping over the weekend, his response was, "I don't think so." He didn't actually say "no," so I took that as more of a guideline than a rule. Besides, with my condition getting worse, I want to be out doing things with friends and not staying at home. There will be lots of time for that if I can't overcome it.

I am never going offroading in my Accord again. Next time, we are renting an SUV. It is much less stressful when the vehicle isn't mine. We camped about 35 km north of Harrison Hot Springs, up Harrison Lake. The 35 km were along a dirt logging road, which involved driving through huge sinkholes and three streams, each stream up to a foot deep. Due to some logistics problems fitting everything into the car, we lost a lot of time unpacking and repacking everything and leaving behind things that we wouldn't need, first at Mike's place, then at Amy and Sarah's. We got to the logging road at around 9pm.

Sunset is at around 9pm, so it was dark going down that road. We went through a roadcheck entering the road; all they wanted to know was if we had any open alcohol in the car. After crossing the second stream, we drove up a hill and there was a truck with its headlights shining at us. As I approached within 10m of the truck, blue and red lights flashed on it and a conservation officer appeared out of the pitch black. He took a look at us and told us we were the first people to go past that weren't doing 500 things wrong and to bring more of our friends. I think Amy sitting behind me, holding a tupperware container of homemade cookies, might have helped too. If only he knew what our friends really are like.

I think we arrived at around 11:30. It was raining and it was a long drive going 10-20 km/h in the pitch black, with no way of seeing how deep the streams were in the dark. I could hear the sound of a river when we unpacked, but it was too dark to tell where it was.

The next morning, when I stepped out of the tent, my first comment was, "wow, there's a river next to us!" It was huge and fast flowing. Maj swam across it later in the weekend and ended up about 30m downstream on the other side.

There were about 25 of us altogether, and I am really impressed with the group of people there. I needed a lot of help getting around. I couldn't get out of the tent without someone lifting me up, nor could I get out of the lawn chairs (they were the foldable ones that you sink into). For some of the bigger, stronger guys, they just lifted me up like I weighed nothing.

We had a hot tub going on Saturday. Some of the guys brought an 8'x4' inflatable kiddie pool, a bilge pump, two garden hoses, and about 50' of 3/4" coiled copper piping. They put the copper coil into the hot embers of the campfire, used the pump to pump the water out of the pool through the garden hose, into the copper coil, then out to the other hose and back into the pool. Saturday ended up being the trial run. I think they gave up on it at around midnight or 1am after they couldn't get the water hot enough. Some of the guys tried it anyway and figured it would feel hotter if they did a river dance in the glacier cold river before going into the pool. They started earlier on Sunday and managed to get it hot enough to sit in by late afternoon. It wasn't as hot as a real hot tub, but it was warm enough. I really wish I could move around normally. I want to do all the stupid things that everyone else was doing.

I woke up on Sunday morning writhing in pain in one of my muscles or ligaments in my right leg. Amy went to get Sasha (a RN) who gave me some T3s for the pain. I felt a mild pain on Saturday but it didn't seem like anything. I think I overexerted myself from the drive to the campsite. I drove for more than six hours, and a third of that was constant braking and accelerating on the dirt road. I took T3s throughout the day, and then regular ibuprofen after that. The pain slowly went away over Sunday and Monday, and I haven't taken any Tylenol all day today. There is still a mild pain, but I can live with it. I would rather not take a pill if I can avoid it. The pain is there for a reason to tell me something is wrong, and otherwise I'm just masking the pain and might make it worse by exerting myself too much again.

I am very glad I went. Although it rained for almost the entire weekend, Sunday afternoon was awesome with the sunshine. I spent the weekend with a great group of people. It was really nice being waited on by the girls and having food brought to me, but I still would rather have been able to cook for myself. Thank you to everyone who helped me out over the weekend.

The photos are posted in the photo gallery.

12

Turns out that the doctor I saw today is an outpatient rehab specialist and not a physiotherapist. He did the usual tests all the other doctors did and then explained to me what was going to happen. He focuses on the prognosis, and he is going based on what the neurologist thinks I have. That means he is going to treat the symptoms and not the disease. He told me that any exercise I do at this point will just make me weaker and I'm at the point where he wants to check me into an inpatient clinic near the BC Children's Hospital to work on my strength. Normally they only accept patients who are already in a hospital. It will be a few weeks before that happens though.

SMA

This is a pretty good overview of how SMA is inherited. The last paragraph describes what SMA does to the human body. It's really hard to believe that this is what I have with no family history. Both of my parents need to be carriers.

Source: http://www.fsma.org/exp_answer_19.shtml

Question: What are the dominant and recessive traits of SMA? How does someone get it?

Answer: Dominant and recessive traits are specific terms used to describe different genetic disorders and refer to the way that a genetic disease is passed on from one generation to the next or inherited.

How are traits inherited? Each cell in our body contains a nucleus that houses DNA on structures that we call chromosomes. Each chromosome comes in two copies, one copy was passed down from our Dad (from the sperm cell) and one copy is passed down from our Mom (from the egg cell). This means that we have two chromosomes 1, 2, 3 etc. Genes, which are contained on our chromosomes, code for all the material (proteins) in a cell that tells it what to do. In general, we have two normal copies of each gene (one inherited from each of our parents). This basic information will help me explain the difference between a dominant and a recessive trait. For some genes, we absolutely need the two copies to be functional. For other genes, we are OK even if only one copy is functional. Mutations are changes in DNA that renders a gene semi-functional or completely non-functional. A dominant trait is one where we need both genes to be functional. For example, Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) is an autosomal dominant trait. Individuals with ALS have one normal ALS gene and one ALS gene that has a mutation. Thus, all individuals that have a mutation in the ALS gene will most likely, at some point in their lives, display the symptoms associated with ALS even though they have one normal gene.

Childhood-onset SMA is a recessive trait. SMA is caused by mutations in a gene that is called SMN (for survival motor neuron gene). We only need one normal SMN gene for our motor neurons to develop and function normally. Individuals with SMA have two mutant SMN genes because they inherited one mutant gene from each of their parents. Because their parents each had one normal and one mutant SMN gene (they were carriers), they did not have SMA because one copy of SMN is sufficient. Thus SMA is a recessive tait, the fact that we have a SMN mutation stays hidden (recessive) until we produce a child that inherited the SMN mutation from each of his/her biological parents. So SMA is an inherited disease that is passed on from parent to child through their SMN gene. Both parents have to be carriers, that is, have one normal and one mutant SMN gene. In a recessive trait, carriers are asymptomatic (do not have any SMA symptoms). About 1 in 50 individuals are SMA carriers. This means that (in terms of probabilities) in about 1 in 2,500 couples, both would be SMA carriers. Each time two carriers have a baby, there is a 25% chance that the baby inherited both SMN mutations and will have SMA, 50% chance that the baby will be a carrier, and 25% chance that the baby inherited both normal SMN genes. Thus, for a recessive trait, each time that two carriers produce a child, there is a 1 in 4 chance that the baby will have the genetic disease in question.

SMA stands from spinal muscular atrophy. Because SMN is very important for normal functioning of motor neuron cells in the spinal cord, when SMN is almost completely absent, spinal cord motor neuron cells die. When these cells die, they stop sending messages to the muscles they are responsible for. Motor neurons are the batteries of muscle and tell muscle when to move and when to rest. Because the muscle is no longer receiving these messages, it wastes away or atrophies. I hope that this answers your questions.

Louise R. Simard, Ph.D.
Associate Professor
Centre de Recherche de l'Hôpital Sainte-Justine
January 2005

11

I saw my doctor this morning. He reviewed the blood test results from last week and everything looks fine. The neurologist who did the EMG testing on me a few weeks back wrote a long report on me and he showed me some of the things she wrote. She believes that I have Spinal Muscular Atrophy Type III. Normally, it's supposed to affect people in their late teens and early twenties and she thinks I've had it for a long time without noticing it. It will be three weeks tomorrow since I gave a blood sample for the genetic test, and still no result. My doctor has dealt with a few cases of ALS (which share some muscle weakness symptoms), but he's only seen this in a textbook before.

I will be seeing a physiotherapist on Friday. Hopefully, there are some exercises I can do that will help.

Also, I finally figured out yesterday how to get to my classroom at VCC from the Pender St entrance without going up any stairs. It takes a long time, but it can be done. I fell down getting off the trolley bus when I went home last night. The bus driver had to help me get back up. I'm looking forward to seeing those new low-floor trolley buses go into service.

Jer is now all moved in. I think he has watched more TV at my place in the last few days than I have in the 6 months I've been living there.

10

I have a roommate. Jer is going to stay at my place for a few weeks. My parents have a futon mattress that they use to have guests over, and they dropped it off tonight. I still need to work out some logistics, like finding a place for Jer to park his car, but hopefully everything will work itself out.

9

Yay! More blood tests! I hate needles. The GP I saw yesterday just moved here from Port Alberni and has been practicing for 9 years. He seems good. He ordered a chest X-ray and abdomen ultrasound because of the weight loss and also some more blood tests. I did the X-ray today, but the ultrasound won't be for 2 weeks.

The neurologist I saw today took my information and did the same examination all the others did. He thinks it's a myopathy or atrophy and that it's genetic. Both my parents have to be dormant carriers of the genes in order for that to be true. I asked him to just schedule a biopsy without waiting for the genetic blood test results. If it ends up conclusive then we can always cancel it. Otherwise that's another week of waiting since I'll be further back in the queue to get the biopsy done. Whatever I have, it's rare.

He is going to refer me to a physiotherapist who can hook me up with some exercises to tone my muscles. Any other exercises could make things worse.

8

I just weighed myself. My normal weight is 165-170 lbs. I'm at 141.6. That's 25 pounds under my normal weight. I know I've lost weight, because I've been wearing my belt at 4 notches instead of 2 for the last month (about a 2" loss on my waist). I never thought that it was that much. A friend also commented that I'm looking really skinny.

I am seeing a GP tomorrow afternoon. I'll definitely bring this up. I have lots of questions.

7

I had my parents over at my place for dinner tonight. They are so worried about me and want to spend time with me, so I invited them to my place. To get to my apartment after work, I got off the bus and then turned into the lane to walk over to the entrance with no stairs. I missed my footing a few feet into the lane on a pothole and went down. Since there was no way I could get up on my own, I called out to the first person who walked past and asked for a hand getting up. The first person was this black dude who came over and offered his hand to help me up. I don't have the strength in my legs to get up with just a hand for support and he had to pull my body up.

As coincidence would have it, my parents drove into the lane right as he was lifting me up. They stopped right away and jumped out of their van. By then I was standing and stable but they ran to me and my dad grabbed me. The guy took off and I didn't get a chance to thank him. I think they scared him away, rushing over so fast. My mother later told me she thought I was in a fight with him. That's ridiculous. I called out a thank you but I'm not sure he heard me. That really sucks, and I feel bad, because most people are conditioned to say "no" whenever approached on the street, and this guy helped me out right away.

It's really easy to imagine right now how hard it would be for someone in a wheelchair to get around. I notice the little things like the sidewalk ramp depressions on the street crossings for people to wheel themselves up on.. things that are just taken for granted. On the flip side, I also notice how relatively easy it is to get around; elevators are everywhere, and there are ramps almost everywhere that there are stairs. Twenty years ago that wouldn't have been the case, but it still doesn't make it easy. I'm taking a longer route to walk to work from the bus stop in the morning, but there is less chance I will fall down.

Last week I was really depressed from going to see a bunch of doctors and not knowing what was happening to me. Thursday and Friday really lifted me up, as did Sunday. I was really depressed on Thursday and didn't even bother going to work after finishing with the neurologist. I went to the opera on Thursday night and even though it's not my thing, I'm very glad I was able to spend time with some close friends. I would go again just for that. On Friday, I went out to the Caprice and even though I sat for most of the night, I still went up and danced a bit, holding one of the girls' hands to keep stable. Besides.. someone had to watch the alcohol while everyone was up dancing. I also now know that it takes two Heinekens for Mike to go up on the dance floor. On Sunday, a new friend I met about a month ago called me up in the afternoon because she had thought of me and had bought an herbal treatment that she thought might help. She wasn't home when I picked it up but had left a card with it. That card is now in my living room next to my photos.

I will do something special for everyone close to me. I just need to think of what to do.

6

The neurologist I saw on Monday (a different one from today) wants to see me again. His receptionist called me earlier and she set me up with an appointment for Tue May 9. That's a long time away. She'll call if there are any cancellations, so I can get in earlier.

5

I just got home from seeing the neurologist this morning for EMG testing. Having electricity pulsed through my nerves and then long needles stuck into my muscles is not a pleasant experience. She doesn't have a diagnosis but said it's not due to lack of exercise or an injury and at this point is likely a problem with the muscles or the connection between the muscles and the nerves. She ordered a genetic blood test for spinal muscular atrophy but told me not to read too much into it yet. The blood sample goes to the BC Children's Hospital for analysis and takes two weeks to get the results back. They may also do a muscle biopsy to analyze a sample of my muscles. I won't know anything for a while, until they call me.

I talked to my mom and told her what happened but left out what the blood test is for.. I don't want to worry her too much. She is certain that there are no muscle problems in her family history.

The benefit of having a unique last name

BC Hydro just contacted me. I worked for them back in the Fall of 2002 and I am eligible for some sort of profit sharing program with their employees. They didn't have my current information on file and apparently I never responded when they send me a letter a few years ago, so they were going to write off the payout. But my name stood out and someone from HR looked up my last name and contacted my parents who forwarded the message to me (since I'm not listed in the phone book) . There is now a cheque for me on its way in the mail.

4

I have an appointment with a neurologist for Thursday at 9am. Hopefully then I will find out what's going on.

3

I went to the doctor this afternoon. She went over my blood test results from last week and ordered some more blood tests. I couldn't wait until Wednesday to find out what's happening so I went to the emergency room at St. Paul's hospital. I saw a neurologist and he did a whole bunch of tests. Three hours later, he couldn't tell me what it was, but he ruled out my ligaments and nerves. He said it was something in the muscles but needed to do more tests. They are going to call me tomorrow and tell me when I can come in. They are going to do some sort of test where they run electrical pulses through my nerves or muscles and then they can pinpoint what's going on. The good news is that it's probably not hereditary. None of my parents or their extended family have any muscle problems, which is very good.

The doctor I saw this afternoon called me at 9:30 to see how I was doing. I gave her an update of what happened in the hospital. That was nice of her to call, especially since it's a walk-in clinic and they don't typically offer the same level of personal service as a family doctor.

2

I feel so useless right now. I went to a BBQ yesterday and couldn't even walk around because there were so many stairs on the porch. My coworkers went to Pacific Centre for lunch today but I stayed here and went to the food court in my building because I don't want to fall down on the stairs descending into the food court from the street outside (and I also have to get back up the stairs).

1

Well.. I've managed to hurt myself. I overexcerted myself in aikido and I guess I broke something in my knees. Aikido is a lot of falling down and getting back up, so it requires a lot of lower body strength. Two weeks ago, it got to the point where I was down on the mat and I couldn't get back up.. I just collapsed. I sat out the rest of the class and hoped it would get better after a few days. A week and a half later, it was just as bad, so I went to see a doctor on Wednesday. He sent me to a specialist; my appointment is for next Wednesday. This is scary, it's affecting my mobility. If I step down at the wrong angle, my knee just gives and I fall down.

I went over to my parents' place for dinner tonight and I was contemplating whether to tell my mom yet or wait until I find out the problem before telling her. I don't want her to worry, she already calls enough to see how I'm doing now that I'm out on my own. I told her about what happened and when I left the house, she stood on the porch and watched me walk with a limp to the car. She kept standing there while I sat in the car getting ready to drive away.

Personality Type

My personality from the okcupid 32-type dating test:

The Slow Dancer
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDm)
Steady, reliable, and cradling her tenderly. Take a deep breath, and let it out real easy...you are The Slow Dancer.

Your focus is love, not sex, and for your age, you have average experience. But you're a great, thoughtful guy, and your love life improves every year. There's also a powerful elimination process working in your favor: most Playboy types get stuck raising unwanted kids before you even begin settling down. The women left over will be hot and yours. Your ideal woman is someone intimate, intelligent, and very supportive.

Your exact opposite:The Hornivore
Random Brutal Sex Master

While you're not exactly the life of the party, you do thrive in small groups of smart people. Your circle of friends is extra tight and it's HIGHLY likely they're just like you. You appreciate symmetry inrelationships.

ALWAYS AVOID: The Battleaxe
CONSIDER: The Maid of Honor or The Sonnet

Continuing Education

I registered for a course at VCC. They offer certificate programs in either Substance Abuse or Counselling Skills, and both programs require a basic counselling skills course as a prerequisite. I went to an information session back in January, and they said that about 50% of the people who take the prerequisite course are professionals like me who want to gain new soft skills and have no interest in pursuing their certificate programs. The class is capped at 18 students and focuses on interaction with classmates. I'm looking forward to it. It starts next Tuesday and runs for 10 sessions plus two Saturday mornings.

Basic Counselling Skills (CNSK 1101)
Attended by thousands, this course is the prerequisite for both the Substance Abuse and Counselling Skills Certificate Programs. This practical course provides relationship building and listening skills to improve communication with clients, coworkers, friends and families. Open to those who wish to take it as a stand alone course for general interest and/or professional development. Students describe “Basic” as life changing! Self disclosure, self exploration and fluency in English is necessary. 36 hours

Would you like an extended warranty with that?

I picked up a plant for my apartment today. It's a 6 foot tall tropical Yucca with four canes in a 14" pot. It really adds character to the apartment, and it looks really cool walking into the dark apartment at night and seeing the silhouette of the plant against the window.

I noticed a sign when I walked into the nursery that all their plants come with one year warranties. I forgot to ask what the terms were, but I thought it was odd that a plant would come with a warranty.

I never understood the need for dishwashers. It takes 90 minutes for a dishwasher to do what I can do in 15. However, when I was sick earlier this week, I was in no condition or mood to be cleaning up when there were no clean dishes left. It's those times when having a machine to do the cleaning for me really saves the day.

I stopped at IGA last night to get some groceries for dinner. They had these boxes of frozen breaded fish fillets for $4, and if you buy a box, you get a free 1kg bag of frozen vegetables to go with it. That's enough food for at least 4 meals. You really start to realize the value of things and eating out becomes more of a luxury when you have a mortgage to pay.

It's a good pain

I'm still aching from Aikido on Friday. This shows how out of shape I am. I think it's more from the stretching exercises we did for the first 25 minutes than the actual moves that we learned. We were doing some really intense stretches and I am not flexible.

As part of my company's acquisition, they plan to move all of their merchants onto our gateway system. It's the reason they bought us. However, our system only processes credit card transactions, not debit cards or EBT cards. I've been assigned to lead the design and implementation of adding debit and EBT card functionality to our system so that the merchants can be migrated to our system. The impact of this project is not small, our new company processes US$100 million of transactions each month through just the one processor being affected.

I'm very excited that I get to lead this project, I love building things like this.

I headed up to the Tuesday SFU swing dancing tonight. I wasn't expecting much of a turnout since it was Valentine's Day, but we had an excellent turnout and lots of non-SFU people showed up too. It was a great night, and I ended up staying until 11:30 (it normally starts dying down an hour earlier).

The best part is that I didn't feel any pressure about Valentine's Day. After the amount of emotional effort and money I put into my last relationship, I actually feel relieved that I didn't have to figure out where to take someone and then spend $60 on flowers and at least another red on dinner. I just did what I normally do and enjoyed myself.

President's Choice Chocolate Soy Milk is really tasty.

I feel invigorated

I was having a pretty crappy day today, so I though I'd go to the gym tonight to burn off my aggression. We have a really nice gym in my apartment complex, and it's open late every night until 11pm. That's perfect for me, since I usually stay up until 1am and then roll into work at 10am the next morning. With a 5 minute commute to work, I can sleep until 9:15 and still have time to shower and eat breakfast before leaving my home.

I figured that since I'm paying for the gym through my strata fees, I should start using it. I have to walk past the outdoor pool and hot tub to get to the gym, and even though it's the winter and it was 10:00 at night, it was quite warm at 5 degrees outside and there were a whole bunch of people enjoying the hot tub.

I feel really good now after spending nearly an hour in the gym. Of course, I'm weak and can't lift very much, but that will change. Yes, it will change.

The Roundhouse Community Centre in Yaletown is also just a few blocks away, and they offer Aikido a few nights a week. They have a new program starting in March. Maybe I'll try it out, depending on what happens with the Thailand trip.

Everything is so convenient to get to. I love living downtown.

Planning for the future

I watched some of the baby films with my family earlier tonight. While watching, my mother told a story about how when I was 3 years old, I disappeared from the house and she couldn't find me. When she did, I had been able to walk away from the house and down the street with a lunchbox. Apparently, I told her I was going to work. I always was a career oriented person.

Benefits

Now that my company has been acquired, our benefits package is being increased. Not only is the health and dental plan better, but we also get a ski or health pass benefit with no dollar limit!

I'm a star!

I now have six short films from the first two years of my existence. I managed to get 6 reels of film digitized and onto DVD tonight. This stuff is so fragile, the film falls apart so easily if there is the slightest nick or bend in the film. I left 6 other reels in questionable condition alone after one of them jammed and broke. I'll splice some more lead film to the start of the remaining reels to help prevent them from jamming when loading.

A lot of the films are already a collection of shots spliced together. The splicing is done quite well, my dad must have spent a lot of time putting them together.

Improv

I checked out some live improv with Jer tonight at this little hole in the wall restaurant off Main Street called Wink Cafe. I heard about it back in December and have been looking forward to going for a while.

There were three guys acting, and I'm really impressed with their performance. They went for 90 minutes of improvization and were consistently funny the whole time.

Plus, despite my initial hesitance at it being a vegetarian restaurant, the food was tasty. My vegetarian restaurant experience has primarily been the Naam in Kitsilano, which must be the worst possible place to go for vegetarian food.

I definitely recommend Wink Cafe. Go for dinner and stay for the entertainment afterwards. They have live stand-up on Thursdays with local comedians. I'm going to see if I can convince some friends to check it out with me.

My first baby steps

When I moved to my new apartment a few months ago, I discovered some really old Super 8 film of me when I was a baby. This is the juicy stuff like my first baby steps. I don't think I've ever seen this footage, so I'm really looking forward to watching it to see what is on the film. There are about 1.5 hours of film, and I have no idea what it all is. My sister might even be a star in some of it too. I'm going to get it digitized on DVD so I don't have to worry about the film ever getting damaged.

My parents watched it and said that there were some funny moments in it with me.

Election

All predictions point to a Conservative minority led by Stephen Harper. I want to see a Conservative government, but not one led by Harper.

I don't like the GST cut. I would rather see an income tax reduction instead so I don't have to spend money to save it. Reducing consumption taxes just encourages people to go more into debt than to save their money.

I don't like the Alliance leftovers in the party. I come from the PC side of the Conservative Party, and we can do without some of the extreme social conservatives. I am really glad that Randy White is gone from the party. He represented Abbotsford, probably the safest Conservative riding in BC. It didn't matter what he said, he would still get elected, no matter how detrimental his views were to candidates in tough ridings. There, the real election is when the Conservative candidate is selected, not the actual general election. They could run a trained monkey and win that riding.

I would rather see the Conservatives form another opposition, just for Harper to go down and to give the party time to rebuild itself. With the Liberals in the state that they are, there is really no reason that the Conservatives shouldn't be able to form a majority government. The fact that they can't points to a poor leader and some elements of the party who people really don't want.

My riding is going to be represented either by Liberal Hedy Fry, NDP Svend the thief, or some Conservative candidate who I know nothing about. It looks like it will be a close race beween Hedy and Svend. I hope that the Liberal and Conservative vote don't get split so that Svend wins.

The first by-election will probably be in Quebec when Paul Martin resigns his seat after becoming leader of the Opposition. It will be interesting to see which party takes that seat.

Tan lines

I thought this was funny.

Property Taxes

I got hit with a bill for outstanding 2005 property taxes last week to the amount of $452. The city reappraised the value of my property and realized that the $190 paid for 2005 wasn't enough. Since I had taken possession of the apartment Nov 1, that's a lot of cash for just 2 months of owning the property.

I talked to my notary who handled all the adjustments, and he talked to the notary for the seller, who agreed to pay for all of the outstanding 2005 property taxes. Nice. That's half my plane ticket to Thailand.

Election Attack Ads

The federal Liberals launched their attack ads yesterday. I've been reading various publications, and they're getting a lot of criticism for their ads, even from the Globe and Mail. I thought this parody was hilarious, it really highlights how ridiculous some of the claims are.

Stephen Harper has a dog.
You know who else had a dog?
Hitler.
Adolf Hitler.
That's who.
Did Stephen Harper train his dog to attack racial minorities on command?
We don't know.
He's not saying.
Choose Your Canada.

The original ads can be found at http://www.liberal.ca/multimedia_e.aspx. The voicework is done by CBC's Shauna McDonald.

Acting!

Tonight was my first acting class. There were only 4 of us in the class, which is very small. After the improv warmup, we were given scenes to act out. My scene required me to show anger. I don't really get angry.. I just get really serious looking when I'm not happy about something. This is definitely going to pull me out of my comfort zone and force me to be more open and passionate. It's just what I need. Now I have some lines to memorize for next week when we act out the scene again.

Deal is closed.. down 7

We've successfully been acquired by a California company, effective 6pm yesterday. There were only 7 layoffs, 1 in our Vancouver office and 6 in our Whistler office. Most were call centre and sales-related, since our new company already has staff for that. On the plus side, we've gone from a money-losing company to a company in the black!