Risk

We're heading out to San Francisco this evening. Everyone in our office (except one who isn't going) is on the same flight. That's risky for the company, should something happen on that flight.

iPhone

I want one of these.

Observations

With what's happened to me, I can't always participate in certain activities when I'm out with friends. Usually, that means sitting out and observing the social interactions around me.

I went out two nights ago with a group of friends to an Italian restaurant that offers live music and a dance floor. I will post photos in my gallery shortly. Although I couldn't participate, our group was on the dance floor a lot and they were dancing much better than anyone else in the restaurant. It didn't go unnoticed. One of the women at the table next to ours said, "your girls look gorgeous," on their way out. I also noticed a couple dancing in a corner, and the guy did not look comfortable. The girl was trying to help him out, but he looked nervous and with no confidence in himself. It's frustrating to see people who can do better in life but won't venture outside their comfort zones to do so. Later that night, it occurred to me that any of the guys at our table could have walked up to any girl in that restaurant, invited her to dance, and be greeted with a "yes" and a big smile on her face.

Last night was New Year's Eve, and the final party of the night was at Rob's. I noticed this one guy with a goatee who seemed really out of place at the party. Later that night, I was talking to one of the girls who mentioned that he was creepy. "Creepy" is one of the worst labels to be given by a girl, along with "annoying" and "nice." He just lacked confidence. He would try to dance closely to a girl but never talked to any of them, and never stopped clinging to the drink in his hand. His physical appearance was also lacking (and this is something completely under his control). Putting extra time into looking good leads to feeling good, and reduces the feeling of self-consciousness. His glasses were way too big and out of proportion for his face; contact lenses would have looked better. He needed to trim both his goatee and his hair. His T-shirt and pants were a size too large. He would have been better off wearing a collared button-down shirt like everyone else there. I hope one of his buddies points these things out to him. Perhaps it seems offensive, but feedback like that is good and leads to self-improvement.

There was also a really drunk guy who wouldn't stop staring at Becca and I when we were sitting on the couch chatting. Then he got on his cell phone to invite his buddies to the party, but he was too drunk to figure out where he was and give them directions to the house. I thought that was hilarious. It's really interesting what I see when I sit back and watch people interacting around me.

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Jojo held a blues party on Thursday night. I got tired of sitting and watching everyone else dancing, so I gave it a shot. Blues dancing is all about leading the follow with downward body motions. My leading was nowhere near where I used to be, and I couldn't sink too low for fear of falling, but I got through it. That's the first time I've danced since April.

In the gym, I started using the treadmill and stairclimber about 2 weeks ago. I'm only able to walk on the treadmill, but I crank up the incline to really work my quads. I can only go for about two minutes on the stairclimber, mainly because I'm taking a lot of weight in my arms. That's still a huge improvement, because I tried the stairclimber back in September and couldn't even go one step without feeling like I was going to fall backward.

Getting sick

I'm getting sick with some sort of virus or flu. I can feel it starting it in my throat. I'm popping lots vitamin C pills, hopefully that will help. With all these medications I'm on, I don't know what else is safe to take.

43

I can now stand up off my bed without using my arms to push myself up; only my legs. I can't do it consistently yet, but neither could I stand up consistently when I was first able to, using my arms, back in September.

I've been thinking. It took me about 5 months from the first symptom until I was treated. It has also been about 5 months of improvement since then, and I would say right now I'm physically at the point I was about 2 months before I started getting better.

I'm making an assumption of a linear rate of improvement and that I don't plateau, but at this rate it is taking about 2.5 months to recover for every month I got weaker, which leaves at least another 7 months to get back to 100%, around June 2007, which is one year from when I was admitted into the hospital.